Straight Forward

I desperately try to be a person that is eloquently articulate, concise, and still unique. I communicate the best way that I know how, but I know that I am not always 100% successful. I really try and learn from my mistakes, and grow, and change and move closer to the Me that I can see in Head, the ME that I so desperately want to be....
But nothing cant be instantaneous. Learning takes time. Changing takes time.

I am not a fan of flakiness. It is something that really really bothers me. I feel rejected when people flake on me. And it's 10 fold when they don't even bother to inform me that they are going to flake. I know that everyone lames out at times. I am just as guilty of it as the next guy. However, I make a point to let people know that I am not going to make it. It really irritates me when people can't have the respect to just say they're not feelin' it. whatever IT may be.....

Why must some people be so "intentionally confusing?" Almost like that sentence.

I feel dilusional from this Ulcer thing that's going on. My throat hurts, like my glands are inflamed. With that, my brain is just out of it, my stomach, esophagus has calmed down, and doesn't hurt so much any more, but my whole body still hurts. I know I should call Dr. Abel....
I'm sure having an intense session with him would snap me back into shape. haha Yes. Pun intended.

I am going to sleep for a bit, and hopefully be ale to wake up in time to get a hold of Dr. Abel. Then I'm going to be studying until I hang out with Chris around 9/10.

And that will be my day.
I have the journal article review dealy... and I can't even find a freakin' article thus far.
I have going over the Italian stuff we did today that I skipped out on
I need to buy my plane tickets.
I need to buy a microphone
I need to do my reading for my politics class
and I need to do my reading for Music Therapy
Make flash cards
UGH!!!! SOOOO MUCH TO DO!!! I want to die.
dying would be easier than all this stress and anxiety
and pain my body is in from internalizing everything. I am so frustratred with my life, who I am, Why am I so anxious. suspitious. god damn
I feel so on edge all the time. and it's complete wearing me out!
I don't know that I can handle normal life.
Like everyone else can. And that's really scary!