The Great Book Idea

So I've been talking about this book I want to write. The topic mainly being, online dating and how ridiculous it has all turned out for me so far.
from guys who reminded me so much of my brother that I couldn't imagine kissing him, to a raging narcissist who would criticize my every fault and even make things up to bring me down.

I need to start recording my thoughts that I want to include in this book I keep talking about. So I figure now is as good a time as any to start putting this stuff down and letting people read some of the absolute craziness that most certainly DID in fact happen to me.
Now that I think about this whole book idea though,
I want to incorporate it with my book idea of "Running Into Myself"

Honestly, as much bull shit as I went though with all those different guys.... I learned volumes of life lessons, that I know I will never need to learn again. These experiences, some of them being horrible depressinly debilitating heart breaks, have all made me who I am.
I certainly don't claim to be some great Humanitarian, and selfless advocate for those in need. However, I do what I can, when I can. I refuse to allow myself, to go through life basing how much I accomplish, my value, or worth on what anybody else thinks, or has to say.

This isn't to say that I don't love my family and friends, and do what I can to be open to receive their advice and help. My family has been a huge part of instilling this desire to help others. My whole family is full of people with enormous hearts, who would give the shirt off their back to help another. With out my families support in life, I wouldn't have made it to the ripe old age of 23.
Wow that sounds so old. 23. How am I 23? I'm just baffled

Back to the stuff
My family is important, and I love and respect each member of my family for their own unique reason. They all have so much to offer whatever soul is blessed enough to receive it. I have a family full of amazing role models. As of late I have come to really appreciate how much my dear friends care for me.
I have always, my whole life, had this fear in my head that the people who "care about me" don't infact care. The care they express is out of convenience. As I think about it, I am struck with the realization, that the idea of selflessness and selfishness, is quite interesting.
There is a time in life when it is required that we be selfish. To base one's life on the needs of other is to leave that individual void of any real joy, for they themselves have not had the opportunity to even consider their own needs. How do we come to determine where the boundary is. How do we go about setting these boundaries with other people? Is there suppose to be some switch that flips when people are over stepping their bounds; Because if so, either I just don't have one, or mine is broke possibly beyond repaire.

This leads my thinking to a specific experience that I've been wanting to record in writing. I am affraid that if I wait to long, I'll forget the details, and my memory will become twisted and misconstrewed.
The Matt experience in January of 09'
Just last month. Right around this date, a month ago.
the crazy ex experience....
Sooo weird.
But alass, it is to late tonight. I must retire my brain. I am so fried from school. :-(
good night blog!