should be doin

I should be adding to my story of the crazy ex fiasco from january. However, I am not really feeling like going into that story.

I was thinking about Abe today. I was reflecting on all the nasty things that he has said to me over the last few months.
I wonder where these aweful things came from.
I find it hard to believe that the same person who told me I'm much prettier than he expected, can turn around and a month later tell me that my "extra weight" and acne make me no worthy of dating.
It seems so cruel of him. It's one thing to be honest, and let someone know that you really don't see a potential between you. It's completely different to intentionally hurt someone to make them feel like they as a person are not worthy of being cared about.
I use to weigh a lot more than I do now. There was a time when my solution to this was eating and eating, and following my meal with a finger dessert. I have spent the last year and half changing my life style and habbits to be a much healthier person. It's made me who I am, it was a long and difficult road to get where I am. And I know it's not going to be easy from here on either. I have changed myself for the better. It makes me sad that Abe can't recognize a person who is invested in their own future and making them self a better person.
The thing I make up about this, is that he is either such a narcicst that he actually doesn't even believe that he has faults himself, or he is so uncomfortable with facing his short comings that it is easier for him to point out my faults and criticize me instead of trying to improve himself.

How dare he tell me I have a "beer gut" - In my opinion, I am in better shape than he is!!!! and I'm pretty sure he's aware of that fact himself!
As for the acne issue. Not acne really. A bacterial infection from stress and chemical/hormonal imbalances in my body. Not to mention that I was doing everything I could to treat it, and it only got worse before it got better. To criticize me for something that I really don't have any control over, and is so superficial and certainly doesn't define me, is so shallow and petty. I was taking medicine for my face, doing 30 min light treatments at a laser clinic, and washing/treating my skin topically 3-4 times a day. I wouldn't leave my apartment for a week at the very least, because I couldn't let anyone see my face that way. To make an assumption about me with out taking the time to ask about it, or even get to know me as a person.
If that's what makes him feel better about being shallow and superficial.... well, to each their own.
I am only happy that I didn't waste too much of my time wondering what is wrong with me. Why he wouldn't want me....
Realisticly I didn't want him. He worked so hard to get "convince" me of his genuine intentions. He texted me day after day, all day long, out of control. And I wasn't necessarily into it at first. He tricked me into considering that he could be everything he "says" he is.
Where's the proof.
There is none!
He could be some circus clown, and he's out of town all the time because he's touring with the circus. How would I know?! hahaha I mean, that sounds so obsurd, and really not realistic, but in all reality, who knows.

All I know is that Abraham is a cold, manipulative, mean spirited duesh bag! And he's possibly one of the most selfish people I have ever met. Which is so sad, because I necessarily think that he is that way. However, all my experiences with him have shown me Abe's true colors. And they are very dark and jaded. Which makes me really sad. I really believed that I liked him.